Sexism and the Politics of Dumb People

I'm stuck at home sick for the second day, which pretty much sucks. Oh, I've caught up on Bible Study reading, work reading, and such, but really, it sucks. The Democrats, especially the rabidly pro and anti Clinton folks are really getting me down, and every other story online or on NPR is about the stupid, working up to a big loss, Democrats, and especially about Hillary Clinton.

A female journalist made a great point on NPR today: we need to have men in this discussion about sexism, it can't just be the feminists, new feminists, post feminists, etc., having a pillow fight among ourselves (her words), and it can't just be about the Clinton litmus test for sexism.

I too wish people would get beyond Hillary Clinton and really talk about sexism. Women are suffering very obviously from sexism on the job, and on the street, and in their own families. Men are suffering in many ways that should be obvious to us but aren't for some reason: Men find ourselves pushed into bad decisions because we feel the need to meet certain gender stereotypes, such as never backing down from a fight or ignoring an insult. We don't have healthy relationships because we consider all forms of intimate friendship to be pre-sexual or sexual. We often don't admit how hurt we are because we're taught it shows weakness, then we sink into depression. We celebrate sexual behavior in men that we condemn in women, when we should really condemn irresponsible sexual behavior period.

Real change will require that women learn how to play under the rules men often take for granted: sometimes you need to be steady, dispassionate, and not shrink from tough decisions. Real change will also require men changing the rules to be fair and moral: sometimes you should protect the weak, recognize human needs and emotions, and that being a leader often means showing concern and attachment. Both need to avoid drawing lines by race or sexual preference, and start drawing lines based on good and bad behavior.

The hubbub over Senator Clinton's candidacy is a perfect example of us screwing it up. There is real sexism against Hillary Clinton and it sucks. Some moron yelling "Iron my shirt!" for example. I have a long list of reasons I won't vote for Hillary Clinton. She's calculating and puts politics ahead of even self respect; she's arrogant and over-reaching, especially on health care; her and her husband are a terrible example of what the sacrament of marriage should be; she's been duplicitous in talking about the Iraq quagmire. I could also say every one of those things about her husband (who I opposed re-electing for a second term). I could say most of those things about George Bush, and lots of other politicians. I would actually list her gender and the fact that she's a mother as pros for her, especially versus the stupidly macho men we tend to see in politics.

So it makes me absolutely fucking bat shit nuts to hear some idiot yell something about ironing, or hear about the Hillary Clinton nutcracker (guess where you put the nuts?). Clinton having to confront pernicious sexism doesn't prove she's a good candidate, but it doesn't prove there are a lot of assholes out there that just don't get it. Just for the record, I'd be fucking embarrassed to have a President, male or female, that couldn't manage to operate a flippin' iron. I suspect George Bush might fall into that category.

Someday, I want to see a woman candidate for President turn to a heckler and say with pity, "You see how much sexism there is to overcome? No one ever taught that poor person to iron, just because he's a man."