PERSPECTIVE

My birthday, the holidays and New Years, which all come rushing at me in a very short amount of time, always have a special way of putting things in perspective.

The birthday perspective: not very many people called, emailed or remembered to say "Happy Birthday" this year. The night before, my hockey team, the mighty Michigan Moose, played the number one team in our league. We lost, 4-3, but we gave them a fight. The ref and I talked briefly after: "You play them better than anyone else," he said. "They've been blowing people out 11-1, 10-2, and you were right there in it until the end." Yes, yes we were. I had bruises to prove it. That, and a little late night bar time with the team, was the first birthday present, and honestly, it more than made up for all the friends, family and coworkers that don't remember. The next night, we went to the house of some good friends and LullaBelle made dinner for all of us. We ate, drank, and played board games. It wasn't big and fancy, but it was really nice. My friends opened their house and they and my wife provided food and drinks and company. Some days, I just need the company.

The holiday perspective: I finished the shopping before Christmas eve with some help from my wife and mother, helped my others finish their shopping, and found some time to pick up local beer. My mom bailed me out big time at one point. "Mom, you rock!" I said. "Yeah, I know," she responded, totally blase about it. Christmas eve, we had a great dinner with the same friends that had hosted us for my birthday, and Christmas day, we all visited and had a good time exchanging gifts. No one in our family got in an argument, no screaming, no craziness. Well, ok, just a little craziness, but it was an acceptable amount.

The New Year perspective: A long time friend of my wife and her family died just before new years (the 30th, I think). We started 2006 losing my friend G to cancer, and ended it losing her friend B to it. In between, we also lost Bo, and President Ford, two men I admired. I went over my finances, ordered a new daily planner refill, and talked about the future with my wife. We set charity giving and savings as priorities for ourselves, as well as the usual bill paying and debt reducing, and the ongoing persuit of a new house. All those deaths, two families we know missing the person that was wife and mother, and all these dreams I had that I don't think I'll ever get to accomplish.

Today, things at work kind of sucked. I'm stuck in the middle of multiple managers who all want different, sometimes conflicting, things. I'm getting paid back in grief for agreeing to try and do things no one else wants to (or can). No pats on the back, no mention in the company newletter for all my efforts. Nothing but conflicting orders from people that can't pick up a phone and call each other. They just call me, and assume I'm happy to fix it.

I welcomed the New Year by sitting in my car at lunch, heater on, music on, half asleep, half crying, and entirely wanting to be somewhere else. Somewhere alone with my wife, where we can be happy for a little while before time runs out. That was the New Year perspective.