Don't bother to ask

No one wants to here the answer, including me. In a random order, here's how I am:

My friend G regained consciousness again. She couldn't talk, but could communicate enough to let folks know her wishes. A couple of folks from our group sang to her, and family are visiting. While she was conscious, she gave one more gift to her loved ones; she made the decision to have the artificial respiration turned off. It is more than likely that this will mean the end of her life, and how she got the courage to make the decision, I don't know. I do know that her husband and other loved ones will not have to make the decision while she is unconscious. It's a huge blessing for all, and another reminder of what kind of person we're losing.

My friend J's son is still hospitalized. After appearing to rebound, he worsened again, and his condition is quite serious. J and her husband, D, are trapped in a situation where they have asked us all to pray that their son either gets better quickly, or that if he is going to die, he doesn't have to suffer long. I can't imagine being a parent in that situation, not knowing if you should pray for your child to live, or simply pray for a quick end. I give J & D lots of credit, though; their faith tells them that their son will go to be with Jesus if he dies, and they act like it.

My own breathing still sucks, but I'm recovering. Mainly, I have coughing attacks when I lay down, or when I am extremely stressed. Considering the state of life right now, the first covers most of my sleeping hours, and the second covers most of my waking hours. After a week of only sleeping a few hours a night, my patience is very very thin. I plan to go and have people shoot pucks at me later so I can calm down enough to breath.

I volunteered to be a Convention delegate for my church again, because I had heard that our minister was having a hard time lining someone up, and I like participating. When other avenues didn't pan out, he replied that he was inclined to have me do it, but that it would sit better with him if LullaBelle and I were pledging. He noted that it was especially the case because the church was running a $19K deficit. (Oddly enough, there was no mention of the fact that this deficit was caused by him pushing to make some large changes, while at the same time, alienating a huge number of people, who have left, are leaving, or are simply not giving any more money. Must have slipped his mind...) I haven't decided which nicely worded version of "fuck you!" I plan on sending. The whole reason I stopped pledging was that he kept trying to tie representation and leadership at church to giving.

Work is stressful, but most of the stress is placed there by myself. As my buddy once pointed out, I find it unnacceptable to not be the best at any given thing, and I view everything as competetive. I am pleased to be back at work after my sick days last week, trying to cram things into my head just a little faster than it wants to absorb them. Between work pushing my brain, and hockey pushing my body, I figure it will hold old age at bay just a little bit longer.