Long Time Gone

Just rolled in from a week of vacation. First vacation I've had in a year and a half, and it was much needed. Vacation does odd things to my brain. In no particular order (importance, cronology, numerical, alphabetical, etc.)

- I don't particularly give a rats ass about the rest of the world anymore. I'm ready to get mine.
- I don't have too bad of a job if you gotta have one.
- Riding in the rain sometimes pays off with silence in the woods.
- Dark and rainy woods isn't nearly as scary as the company of most people.
- Some people need to quit smoking, or, they need to go to smoking two cartons a day and put themselves out of my misery.
- When the horse lets a big one rip, it's better to be the guy on the bike (me) than all those poor (green) people in the tour carriage.
- Horse shit still smells better than car exhaust.
- I'd rather dodge horse piles in the road than soccer moms in mini-vans.
- There's a point when you might as well take the "shirt" off, 'cause you're not leaving anything to anyone's imagination.
- We really wish you would have left more to our imaginations. A whole lot more.
- A huge crowd of drunk Republicans is a sad thing.
- A huge crowd of drunk Republicans, doing the "white man's overbite" and singing bad 70's tunes real loud is even sadder.
- A large crowd of drunk Republicans and their cash are quickly separated, and bar owners understand this. In true Republican style, none of the Democrats will let morals or politics get in the way of taking money... Especially money from drunk Republicans.
- Some "do not ride this" warnings are serious, some are not. Knowing the difference is important.
- Never trust a waiter or waitress until you know they like to drink what you drink.
- Dumas was a genius.
- I may give up being a prophet, change my handle to "Athos" and get into the "cold, calculated revenge" business.
- Or maybe just to "Porthos," and take up excessive partying.
- Chocolate chip cookies go with almost any type of beer.
- There's nothing better than a preacher with huge freakin' balls.
- It's even better when she's an unassuming older woman...
- ...Who times her visit to coincide with the Republican convention.

There's other stuff. Some of it I might relate in detail, and some of it, I might not.The bottom line? I'd pretty much trade my life here in tomorrow and head back there permanently. It's nothing against anyone here, everybody, uh, well, almost everybody, would be welcome to come and visit . Provided they bring some beer.