Things I learned retreating:

1. One hour of silence isn't enough.
2. It's also too much when you want to talk to your friends.
3. You can always rent the movie later.
4. A plastic cup of red wine makes an interesting sound when you fumble it.
5. Said cup of wine will fall in slow motion when fumbling turns to dropping.
6. Some really ugly carpets are perfect at hiding red wine stains.
7. Friends drink with you, but good friends help you mop up when you get the dropsies.
8. My friends don't make any more sense at 2am then they do at other times.
9. I don't make any more sense at 2am then I do at other times.
10. The sun likes to be up earlier than I do,
11. which makes East facing windows a bad thing in the morning.
12. If you go barefoot long enough, you're feet look diseased, even if they're not,
13. and they eventually smell bad.
14. The Desi and Lucy bed setup sucks when you're sharing a room with your wife.
15. Tomato soup and oatmeal are beautiful if the other things on the buffet are gross enough.
16. Melvin should have come back the first time he was called...
17. Or the second... Or third...
18. It's easier to move than wait for Melvin's return, or for that lady to stop yelling for him.
19. Some people serve the blood of Christ with gusto...
20. which puts you at risk of drowning in communion wine.
21. If he hasn't seen me for a couple days, my cat fumbles my wine for me.
22. Luckily, that OxyClean stuff really does work on red wine.
23. If things get bad enough, there is always the Booty Shakin' Contest down the road.