The Sauce - part I

Every household has its sacred dishes. Those foods that are part of life, those things that are the go-to meals when people feel down, when people want to celebrate, when you want to make sure everyone is happy. In my house, the chief one of these is spaghetti. I once had a friend who grew up in Chicago's Little Italy (being more polite than how he refered to it sometimes), who said, after tasting my sauce, that he could tell I was Italian by my cooking. Best compliment I ever got re: food. I am not the least bit Italian, of course, and so was made an honorary one on the spot. I try my best to uphold the dignity of that honour, and to promote good sauce everywhere. I also buy enough Italian wine and pasta to have my own line item in their national budget.

Which leads us away from religion and politics, and on to Spaghetti sauce.

Let's start with some basics:
1. It must be strong - if it's not, you might as well pour tomato soup on pasta and eat that.

2. Garlic and onions must be fresh - if it came as a powder, it's just not worthy. The fresh stuff adds complexity of both flavor and texture. Garlic and onions are not spices, they are part of the foundation of the sauce, just like tomato products and meat.

3. There are 3 spices that matter, Oregano, Parsley and Basil - without them, you got tomato soup. If you want to seperate the soup from the sauce, it wouldn't hurt to have dried pepper flakes on hand too.

4. There is no such thing as too much... except when there is. You should be able to taste all the falvors, and if you add so much of anything (especially garlic) that you can only taste that one flavor, you went too far.

5. You must use a wooden spoon, and you must use the same one, all the time. Don't use your spoon for anything else, especially not anything that might clash, taste wise. If you can't dedicate one wooden spoon, you ain't got the love, and you might as well eat sauce from a jar.

6. Don't put wine in the freakin' sauce! Wine is for drinking, sauce is for pasta. (Unless it's that thing my wife does with white wine, garlic and shrimp over angel hair... then wine goes in the sauce.)

7. It's better to take Tums than bastardize your poor sauce. Tomato is acidic - get over it.

8. It's hard to have too much meat, it's easy to have too little. 'Sides, protein's good for you.

9. If you want to add some crumbled veggie-tofu whatever 'cause you don't do meat, that's cool... just don't ask me how to cook it. Also, be prepared to use a little extra oil to get your garlic and onions going.

10. Your pasta better be al dente. There are few crimes greater than what most Americans do to pasta. You want baby food, by some Gerber's. One of my biggest bitches with American Italian restaurants is the mush they try and pass off as pasta.

11. Patience, patience, patience. Some of the best sauce I ever made took a day and a half to make.

Ok. Let's start with step 1

Step 1. Pour some red wine. (in a glass, that is) I recomend Chianti, or a nice Valpolicella or Sangiovese. Whatever you do, make sure it's Italian and red. The only exception is if you are celebrating, in which case, it is acceptable to sip a nice cold Prosecco (in a champagne glass, please!). In hot weather, I would be willing to consider a chilled Frescati, but it better be at least 90 degrees out! For the love of Mario Batali, no French or California wine! The French and Californians (and hell, lots of other people), know their wine, and they can come up with great compliments to lots of things (Argentine wine with beef... mmmmm!), but they don't match with Italian food. The Italians have spent something like 100 million year developing their wine and food together, they know what they're doing. Just trust me. You can get good Italian table wine for under $10 a bottle, and great stuff from $13 on up. Got money totally burning a hole in your pocket? Try Barolo. A friend served me some at her house, and all I can say is, if Ferrari made wine to match its cars, it would be a Barolo.

OK, you've absorbed enough for now, go enjoy some wine!